{"product_id":"sausagey-santa-paperback","title":"Sausagey Santa - Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003eby \u003cb\u003eCarlton Mellick  III\u003c\/b\u003e (Author)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSanta isn't the jolly old elf as portrayed in Children's stories. He's a bit more grotesque than that. His eyes are pimento-stuffed olives, his teeth are walnuts, and his body is made of sausages. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e One snowy Christmas Eve, while visiting the Fry family, Sausagey Santa is attacked by an evil force that is driven to destroy Christmas forever. It is an anti-Christmas spirit that loathes everything having to do with children and Jesus. His name is Frosty the Neo-Nazi Snowman. After Frosty steals his magic bag of presents, Santa calls upon Matthew Fry and his wife, Decapitron (a brutish warrior woman with a peculiar Christmas fetish and a candy cane sword), to help get it back and save Christmas for everyone. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e It's the greatest sausage-spewing, elf-raping, zombie-killing, Transformer- fucking, reindeer-exploding, snowman-battling, adventure-rocking, bizarro Christmas story OF ALL TIME    \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eNumber of Pages:\u003c\/strong\u003e 132\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 0.31 x 8.5 x 5.5 IN\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eIllustrated:\u003c\/strong\u003e Yes\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePublication Date:\u003c\/strong\u003e December 01, 2013\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Books by splitShops","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42714075889727,"sku":"9781621050773","price":21.58,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0105\/8226\/1823\/files\/faf0e26d1766a333c06be4369e0ab015.webp?v=1765066898","url":"https:\/\/dhl-adrianne.myshopify.com\/products\/sausagey-santa-paperback","provider":"BBB","version":"1.0","type":"link"}